life – John B Ledger

Locked inside the Maddening House

There is no exit, but death. But up on the tops the notion at least remains; a breathing space necessary for the escape-desperate pathos to recognise itself. The possibility of a way out via peaceful parliamentary measures had its last chance in a hot June month of 2017 that momentarily melted percieved certainties as ifContinue reading “Locked inside the Maddening House”

1993. Perranporth, Cornwall

I always reflect on this holiday. I’ve reflected on it through the music of the time; the dreamy-quality to the pop music on Virgin Fm or whatever station it was. I’ve reflected on it through the incomparable movie ‘Jurrasic Park’ that set a new precedent for cinematic hedonia before we would be bogged down inContinue reading “1993. Perranporth, Cornwall”

Art, indefinitely. The 2020s.

(This is the final chapter from the publication ‘Straight A’s: Anxiety, Anorexia, Alcohol, Ageing, and Art’, made for an exhibition of the same name). I admit I’m still here; still trapped within the Straight A’s system of self-critical thoughts and go-to ‘remedies’, but I know I can’t physically upkeep these routines for much longer. IContinue reading “Art, indefinitely. The 2020s.”

Works that didn’t go into Straight A’s

Straight A’s was a once in a lifetime exhibition – at least in terms of life so far. It’s only for this reason I am sharing work that didn’t make Straight A’s, because I feel it is interesting to speak about. Canary in the Coal mine If I had been succesful with funding this sculpturalContinue reading “Works that didn’t go into Straight A’s”

London, October: in search of meaningful rebeginning

St Pancras to Kings Cross station Walking from St Pancras to Kings Cross, I’m eager not to keep John waiting in the train station bar, but also to not appear out of the sync with the pace of London. There is also an anxiety about ‘getting it right’, not missing another sailing ship. Coming toContinue reading “London, October: in search of meaningful rebeginning”

Living with self-hatred: 2024

The fact that I feel pressed to make disclaimers about what I do or don’t say on my own blog already reveals the presence of a dominant inner critic. It thinks it is protecting me from damaging any reputation I may give off for having artistic ‘professionalism’. And indeed I feel I must impress theContinue reading “Living with self-hatred: 2024”