Where do you go when the direction, momentum, you indirectly, but nonetheless wholeheartedly placed your future state of being within, dissolves into thin air, and you see nothing in front of you? You go sideways. Westwards. Up here…scouring for answers. The moors are plural. One moor is every moor. But the Moors is a stateContinue reading “The ascent (Black Hill)”
Category Archives: I stare at bus stops and it brings me home
Near desert…
Langsett remains weird. An intrusion of the outside. Dream-like, in that all our dreams are breached by that which shouldn’t be there. Nor should I… be here, ‘down there’. I’m lost. That horizon line that greats you as you ascend the first set of hills, with its weirdly rhythmical monotony, calls you forward… Yet itContinue reading “Near desert…”
Only in absence
During the course of my life I’ve realised that I can only reach out and embrace something’s presence/my presence in its total absence. An inability to be at ease with the living, to do what the living do, as led me to be a living ghost, who in turn chases other ghosts. I’ve developed aContinue reading “Only in absence”
The waiting room for life
Welcome to The waiting room for life. Here you will face mortality without actually being alive. You will become a living ghost, watching other people live out their lives. Acts of apparent self-destruction, reckless moments, are acts of desperation – having tried every other option to get out, but to no avail, destructiveness becomes instinctive.Continue reading “The waiting room for life”
Edging out to the vanishing point
The late John Berger suggested that the body of work of an artist could only be completed by death. When talking about the 20th century artist Giacometti he suggested the artist’s ” …act of looking was like a form of prayer …a way of approaching but never being able to grasp an absolute”. Giacometti’s sculptures,Continue reading “Edging out to the vanishing point”
A Lifetime’s Worth of Staring at Train Announcement Boards
[Edited post originally from New Years’ 2016] A morning I had a dream last night. I can’t even remember what it was about, but to be honest the fact I know I had a dream is rare enough. Once more, from I how felt upon waking, it wasn’t a bad dream, it was a dreamContinue reading “A Lifetime’s Worth of Staring at Train Announcement Boards”
A life through walking
Neither the crucial role walking has had in my adult life, nor my acute psychogeographical knowledge of a certain clump of land in Northern England are things I instantly associate with pride and personal qualities. None of my walking has ever required metal sticks, flasks or waterproofs, the kind of walking you organise beforehand, norContinue reading “A life through walking”
The land that noise forgot (edit of 2016 text)
As I begin my ascent up to the tops, I try to break free of my cyclical doings on the foothills, too close to the claustrophobic wrapping of the weekend – an intense atmosphere where I exercise the very best and worst in me. New depths of contempt and idealist manifestos crisscross in my thoughts,Continue reading “The land that noise forgot (edit of 2016 text)”
Between the dopamine scream and the dread-filled retreat
Dopamine dark highs that become fixtures. Weekend crashes that you see in advance. What can you do this time to satisfy the toxic pact of pleasure, self-destruction and shadowy-searching for humiliation? A long-held conviction concealed even from my sober self, that the connectivity and bonds that make life alive are impossible to attain. The moreContinue reading “Between the dopamine scream and the dread-filled retreat”
Arc
I’m glad to be back up here. I know the sentiment, and thus there need be no doubt over my convictions. I’m here as a stalker of exits; peering into this morose land, and trying to unveil and unravel the knots in our Geist. Knots in which we are all tied, condemned to be bothContinue reading “Arc”
John B Ledger 