Art/creative projects.
But it’s not that simple. I can go for months, even longer lacking purpose and direction because I lack any ideas that have any sense of purpose and meaning.
It’s how I define, and have defined myself: against a world in which I’ve never felt equipped for, or any good at, but aware that I have to exist in. Obviously this sews together personal and political exclamations, and it’s excruciating when you have nothing that feels valid up your sleeves, because you feel like you’re reduced to having to play by rules in which you always come up short in every concievable way.
Coming up with ideas for certain pieces of work, or projects has been repeatedly life-affirming, and suddenly you have an energy you forgot you had.
However, because it’s always art in ‘fight mode’, it doesn’t allow anything else to grow, which makes it harder to live like this the older you get.
John B Ledger 