Brookhill Close is a semi-fictional merger of my childhood upbringing at the bottom of a cul-de-sac in the late 80s/early 90s, whilst growing up watching the soap Opera Brookside on a very similar type of cul-de-sac. Watching the soap set in post-industrial Liverpool felt like looking into somewhat warped mirror of my own world, watchingContinue reading “Brookhill Close”
Category Archives: Writing
As an adult things have never felt ‘ok’
Sorry for writing this. I’m supposed to be an artist that people look up (well a few people who don’t know me personally may still do so) but my uncontained rage at how social media makes self-promotion of one’s distress, before it has even been hashtag-uttersd has made me speak more on here. I haveContinue reading “As an adult things have never felt ‘ok’”
May 2005
“Don’t rest your life around this hope”. I’m 21. I’ve only been coming out in town for 7 months. In the space of 2 years I’ve gone from being in the grips of anorexia, to exchanging it for the hope that I can be who I want to be and also find happiness. I can’tContinue reading “May 2005”
1990
We used to sit down, Cross legged. I’ve often wondered how. I can only seem to sit cross legged now on the softest of grass. That spongy moorland type of grass, where gravity gives us a break. I was insular. But was I shy? I can’t remember. I had a dummy until my fifth birthday.Continue reading “1990”
Guilt breeds the guilty
Guilt and shame are states that I have suffered with most of my life. They produce incredibly powerful feelings of having done something wrong, that can make other people appear as giant towering figures of authority in my head, whom I need to plead with for forgiveness so I can be free of any futureContinue reading “Guilt breeds the guilty”
John B Ledger – Pitz Promotions
https://pitzpromotions.co.uk/creatives/john-b-ledger/ I did this interview with Pitz Promotions, a local organisation Please have a read. Cheers
1995
I woke up with deep uneasy sighs, memorising a lad I once knew confronting me and pushing me into a state of defencelessness, the state I’d drop into when confronted by anyone who actually knew how to handle themselves. Once again I was 11 going on 12. I’d come out of school, into the topContinue reading “1995”
Accountability instead of ‘The Future’
Some weeks ago I spoke about how I write my blogs with waning confidence, in the hope that somebody with a better ability to research and investigate can look into tendencies I am suggesting. Last week I spoke about how I believe we have silently shifted from an individualism dominated by aspirationalism to one dominatedContinue reading “Accountability instead of ‘The Future’”
I Dreamt I was crying…
…I dreamt that all this torment exited my body It was uncanny. It was so surely the truth. yet, I watched myself as if from a parallel earth, orbiting above, but never making contact. Things have gone too far. Habits have gotten too bad. And I’ve dragged way too many to the mouth of myContinue reading “I Dreamt I was crying…”
March 2000
What must I have looked like? What sort of person must have I portrayed to provoke a girl, probably 4 school years younger, to shout “he’s’ one wi’ problem!”? My friends made sure I knew they found it hilarious, which would had caused me far more immediate humiliation if I hadn’t had got other priorities. IContinue reading “March 2000”
John B Ledger 