I’m sorry if the title offends. For years I have battled with conflicting ideas if myself, out of which often the inevitable path of seemingly least resistant (from alcoholism to listening to the same old albums) becomes the only solution I can. I am a lonely person, I only have the nagging concerns of myContinue reading “Sometimes I find ‘self help’ sickening”
Author Archives: John B Ledger
It’s finally official…
Fighting self hatred
I’ve spent my writing, drawing, doing whatever to try to express a sole desire to get out whatever I am in. I have always felt like I am either trapped in something, or that something is encroaching. If I had learnt to positively identify with myself for longer than a few lovely months in myContinue reading “Fighting self hatred”
What was your favorite subject in school? I lost all warmth for life in my two final years due to eating and I obsessive disorders, so anything I say from those years is false. Before than, I was still under the influence of warn dreams. My favourite classes were classes I. which people I hadContinue reading
Name the most expensive personal item you’ve ever purchased (not your home or car). I’ll speak about the the most expensive item I have now, but wasn’t as expensive as my Mac when I bought it. I bought a maple finish Rickenbacker 330 guitar when I was 18 in 2002. I was on the vergeContinue reading
Straight A’s announcement!
I can finally unveil the books and collaborate album that have been made to mark my upcoming exhibition in January of 2026. For those people who bought them as perks by contributing to my crowdfunder, I will be delivering/sending them asap. But I’m planning to make the rest available on the opening of the exhibition!Continue reading “Straight A’s announcement!”
London, October: in search of meaningful rebeginning
St Pancras to Kings Cross station Walking from St Pancras to Kings Cross, I’m eager not to keep John waiting in the train station bar, but also to not appear out of the sync with the pace of London. There is also an anxiety about ‘getting it right’, not missing another sailing ship. Coming toContinue reading “London, October: in search of meaningful rebeginning”
What’s something most people don’t know about you? People think I ‘enjoy’ being an artist If I could escape this identity and have a different kind of life with things like company, family, I would
Self-hatred and loneliness
At some point I’d like to talk about the link between self-hatred and the rise of the far right. I am convinced that one informs the other, that facististic desires are a rejection of the vibrancy of life because you feel so horrible about yourself but can’t admit to it. And that this has aContinue reading “Self-hatred and loneliness”
John B Ledger 