I have started a fundraiser for a book and album for my upcoming exhibition, and ongoing project ‘Straight A’s: Anxiety, Anorexia, Alcohol, Ageing and Art’. This project will be a milestone moment in my life as an artist. For this reason I am making a ‘Straight A’s’ book, which will both tell my story and display a selectionContinue reading “Straight A’s book AND album fundraiser”
Category Archives: Mental health
Lashing out in the void
What if a heart is turned to stone before it’s had the chance to be broken? Slow trauma. Fast trauma. What’s the difference in the end? You pour over maps, with the longing to finally get on the right track. Maps are both an aspect of our alienation and a comfort from it. Whatever thisContinue reading “Lashing out in the void”
I actually think some form of national service would be good. But it would be the opposite of this right wing wet dream
The reason I’m writing this isn’t an expected one.. Basically I’m pretty much at rock bottom. The life I have led for all my adult life has become increasingly untenable and intolerable, no matter how many times I’ve tried and tried afresh. This life I’ve led has been flakey from the start, but the idealContinue reading “I actually think some form of national service would be good. But it would be the opposite of this right wing wet dream”
No more apologies
No more apologies for any perceived erroneous move from a continual striving for respect. This has been the longest spell of depression I have ever experienced. And I no longer know what I have left that is worth its weight going forward. What has made it so sustained is that previously, and partly down toContinue reading “No more apologies”
The war against yourself
“Other people do it. Other people manage, Other people can, Other people can’t!!” My biggest dream is to go somewhere where nobody knows my name, where I have no friends, no memories, no hooks back into the person I am. What this means is my biggest dream is to be able to escape my ownContinue reading “The war against yourself”
Self-hate
I can’t explain how much self-hate I experience towards myself on a daily basis, without wanting to punch you, kill you, expose myself to you – anything to prove what a piece of worthless wank I am, so as to justify my non-existence. It’s been a driver in my mental make-up for most my adultContinue reading “Self-hate”
The Mental Health Strike ’24
On 6 March 2024 the world’s first Mental Health Strike brought normal life to a near-total stand-still. One after another, people from many walks of life bridged the deep social divides, by publicly declaring that they could no longer maintain good mental health under contemporary work/life conditions. The Mental Health Strike initially began as aContinue reading “The Mental Health Strike ’24”
Looking back 6 years
The mental health strike. A strike that I posited happened in an alternate reality in late January (the week always desrcibed as the most depressing) in 2018. We do live in a very different reality now, though. A very unexpected one, still confused and defined by a vague sense of dislocation, after a pandemic nobodyContinue reading “Looking back 6 years”
John B Ledger 