John B Ledger

1995

I woke up with deep uneasy sighs, memorising a lad I once knew confronting me and pushing me into a state of defencelessness, the state I’d drop into when confronted by anyone who actually knew how to handle themselves. Once again I was 11 going on 12. I’d come out of school, into the topContinue reading “1995”

Accountability instead of ‘The Future’

Some weeks ago I spoke about how I write my blogs with waning confidence, in the hope that somebody with a better ability to research and investigate can look into tendencies I am suggesting. Last week I spoke about how I believe we have silently shifted from an individualism dominated by aspirationalism to one dominatedContinue reading “Accountability instead of ‘The Future’”

‘Bland alive’

I Dreamt I was crying…

…I dreamt that all this torment exited my body It was uncanny. It was so surely the truth. yet, I watched myself as if from a parallel earth, orbiting above, but never making contact. Things have gone too far. Habits have gotten too bad. And I’ve dragged way too many to the mouth of myContinue reading “I Dreamt I was crying…”

March 2000

What must I have looked like? What sort of person must have I portrayed to provoke a girl, probably 4 school years younger, to shout “he’s’ one wi’ problem!”? My friends made sure I knew they found it hilarious, which would had caused me far more immediate humiliation if I hadn’t had got other priorities. IContinue reading “March 2000”

Thoughts on ‘Am I becoming more right wing’?

I admit the blog I posted on Friday was a little incoherent. Because I don’t think I explained that it was really just a musing over what appears to be a connection between a retreat from the world and reactionary beliefs, and how I feel that I have seen myself wishing to retreat over theContinue reading “Thoughts on ‘Am I becoming more right wing’?”

Am I becoming more right wing?

…and the shift from a society of aspirational individualism to one of preservationist individualism. Ok, so the title sounds ironic, or even a reference to a Father Ted scene. But it does raise what has been one of my serious concerns over the past year or so: that a series of factors have altered myContinue reading “Am I becoming more right wing?”

‘Hell has too many faces’

Please to introduce my new work ‘Hell has too many faces’ Possibly the most idiotic thing I have ever made. But I shouldn’t fear making idiotic blunders. No artist should.

I thought it was nostalgia…

…and maybe it is? In Laura Grace Ford’s words (I think?) maybe I am also ‘always yearning for a time that has just eluded us’ as I see images of urban architecture that still existed around the time of the financial crash 15 years ago, but before each subsequent crisis, fracturing and dislocating our graspContinue reading “I thought it was nostalgia…”

Jurassic Park 30 years on: the gates to ‘The End of History’

Of late I’ve more or less accepted that I’m unqualified to write even lazy cultural theory. Much to my frustration, and after realising I was applying for a Phd I couldn’t do, I’ve come to accept that I’ll never get a job in teaching or writing about something that interests me so much. In partContinue reading “Jurassic Park 30 years on: the gates to ‘The End of History’”